Thanksgiving 2016

This has to be the most relaxed Thanksgiving of my adult life.  Nowhere to go; my in laws holiday dinners are largely a thing of the past.   Those big get togethers started unraveling several years ago when my father in law died at the end of September 2009.

Since then, a couple we lived next door to when our daughter was born, who “adopted” us, have died,  so there hasn’t been that family get together in several years now, though we are still very close with their daughter and her husband.  More recently, my brother in law’s son, who was killed in a head on collision barely three blocks from his home.  No one felt much like celebrating this year.

My mother in law decided against having thanksgiving dinner at her house, as hardly anyone showed up last year.  We couldn’t go because Dearest was sicker than a dog, much as he is this Thanksgiving.  Since she went to my sister in laws, we opted to stay home and have our own little Thanksgiving dinner.

I bought a small, boneless fully cooked half ham, because, let’s face it,  a forty dollar spiral sliced ham for two people is a bit much, when the one I got was only a bit over twelve dollars.  It’s currently heating up in the oven-


-accompanied by a brown sugar & pecan topped sweet potato casserole.


Parkerhouse rolls (from scratch) are done-


-as is a huge  bowl of homemade potato salad –


-Fresh green beans are gently simmering in a bit of bacon grease and a few slices of bacon-


I decided against any dessert, neither of us wanted any, and I would have been hard pressed to fit a from scratch pie into everything else I prepared.  I plan on making something tomorrow, something with apples, maybe.

“Thanksgiving with The Duke” is on AMC, bringing memories of my dad, dozing in his recliner, and, as The Sons of Katie Elder and El Dorado play out on the tv, I can’t help but think of him, as I’m bustling around the kitchen, slicing, chopping, mixing, stirring…memories, some uneasy, from my childhood.

My mother, using a turkey baster to get pan drippings to make giblet gravy from the drip pan of the Farberware electric rotisserie, set up out in the linoleum tiled breezeway of our ranch style home, dutifully turning a fat turkey, slowly but surely, turning it to a delectable golden, crisp brown.

This isn’t to say it was a warm and happy family time, not in my teen years, anyway.  By the time I was 14, it was fully a house of volatile rage, waiting to explode on the slightest nudge, fueled on one side with an immovable, unforgiving nature, and by whiskey, disappointment and anger on the other.  Another story, just not for today.

I shove the bad memories aside, and this leaves me to dwell on the parents I had when I was very little.  Back when we were a happy family.  When I felt safe and loved, not caught in the middle of a war, very often bearing the brunt of it.  Not a good path to be wandering down, as the holidays make me weepy these days.

Dearest and I both woke up headachey and with very stiff shoulder, neck and back muscles, courtesy of a weather front that moved through yesterday, making it a chilly, gloomy and rainy day and most of the evening.  After some stretching and use of a percussion massager, I felt better, and fixed us a small breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.  After cleaning up from breakfast, I started cooking our dinner, doing cleanup as I went, like I was taught in Home Ec class.  (They need to bring that class back).

Six hours later, most of which Dearest spent in bed, we sat down to a wonderful dinner-


-Neither of us dressed up, him still feeling puny and weak, in flannel pj bottoms and paint stained tshirt, hair rumpled and needing a shower, me in an equally ratty tshirt and zip up hoodie, an old pair of Nikes, and a cast off pair of his old thermal longjohn bottoms-


-My hair, though braided and tucked in a clip, is in it’s standard state of disarray.

Though we don’t say it out loud, we have much to be thankful for, and we are, every single day.   Just being together, he and I and the precious Baby Girls, in our little home, is enough for me.

I hope wherever you were today, you were happy and loved, and with family or framily.  I hope you smiled, had a good laugh, shared hugs and had a contented heart.  I hope you recalled, fondly, those no longer here, and cherished the ones who are.

Happy Thanksgiving, folks!  Enjoy those tasty leftovers tomorrow!




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Wash away all your childhood dreams
Look to your heart, the in betweens
Quietly you wonder, should you just call it a day
No one would notice, anyway

Watching your Life as it passes by
Face to the glass, a breaking sigh
At the end of it all, what will you say
When it’s undone and gone, you’ll just slip away

A perpetual State of Being
Looking, looking, but never seeing
The Heart, it tears, the Soul, it sighs
A caged wild hawk, with beating wings and muted cries

These Seasons of my Life, how they roll on past
Fleeting Days, how I wish they would last
A finer truth in a time of rust
Spread your wings to dance in the dust

(Originally posted on July 1, 2011)

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Blog Merge

So, I’ve had a blog over on for a few years now, Three actually, one a general post blog, one a creative writing blog and the third one, well, I had intended to be more everything, how I really feel about things, but it never really went anywhere. I really don’t want to switch back and forth, so I’m considering reposting some, if not all, the various posts here on WordPress. Then I think, no, no, I really don’t want to do that, but then I think, well, why not?

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I was born

Back in the 60’s

With a heart that was a little wild

I had no brothers

Or no sisters

Yes I was an only child

Now a rebellious heart

Has made me strong

But it’s done some damage too

All my life

I’ve done what I wanted

And Babe, you know that is true

They tried to send

Me off to church

Sitting in that Sunday school

But I asked the difficult questions

They made me leave

Because I wouldn’t be their fool

It’s a lonely road

When you’re a square peg

Trying to fit in society

Children are cruel and adults are too

When they sense your non conformity

Now my dreams

Have come in handy

When life becomes a bit too much to bear

Along with music, oh sweet music

It’s kept me sane in a world that does not care

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Imagine what we could have accomplished over the last eight years if only, if only…
I will never forgive the Republican Party for their seemingly absolute refusal to work with President Obama and/or Democrats. Their grievances and dislike of the President and the mess that the Democratic Party has become, have shut down the government several times, AT GREAT TAXPAYER EXPENSE, might I add. What happened to representing the people while doing what was best for the Country?  Keeping religion out of it, and ruling according to law, not fervent beliefs. That’s why this great country was founded on documents guaranteeing not only freedom of, but also freedom from religion.  There’s President Kennedy’s address to the Baptist ministers, where he spoke the truth that a man’s religion ought not have any bearing on his ability to be president.

Watching the SOTU tonight, I felt proud of my president, for his entire eight years in office has been an uphill battle that has, no doubt, tested him mightily.  He spoke openly and honestly about his achievements, the slow reversal of the economic disaster and the equally slow recovery, certainly not helped by government shutdowns, filibustering and other shenanigans perpetrated mainly by the republicans.

I felt proud to be an American, too. He spoke of the qualities that are part of what made America the shining lamp of the world, qualities we need to re embrace.  When did we let them slip away, to be replaced by one upmanship, greed, mistrust?



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Lazy Winter Sunday

It’s a lazy, cold, snowy January day in Indiana.  I think the temperature is around 18F, and who knows how cold with the wind chill.  It’s the perfect day to catch up laundry and cook.  Or write.  Or just sit.

I bundled up mid morning, and filled the feeder and suet cake holders.  Since then, I’ve stripped the bed and washed the bedclothes, fixed a late breakfast, and shooed the damn starlings away from the feeder.  Nasty birds, they run all the other birds off and clean your feeders out, all the while shitting all over them.

Currently, there’s a Red-Bellied Woodpecker taking turns with a few Downy and Hairy woodpeckers at the suet cakes. (I need to buy more, the two I put out are the last I had).  Earlier, there were several Nuthatches , Tufted Titmice, Cardinals, Slate-Colored Juncos, Black-capped Chickadees, and a few Chipping Sparrows.  I love watching them, binoculars in one hand, bird guide in the other, a cup of coffee growing cold as I watch the birds’ busyness.

My husband is beginning to grumble and mumble about dinner possibilities, so I’m defrosting some boneless pork loin chops.  A small side salad and a potato of some sort to round out the meal.

I still have to remake the bed and clean up the kitchen, and finish three more loads of laundry in addition to the one on spin cycle at the moment.

Reruns of “Roseanne” are on, though as much as I like the show, I’d really prefer quiet.  My husband is the tv watcher, not me. I will watch shows about Nature and animals, history and documentaries and music shows, a bit of weather and news. Other than that, I hate it.  All that blah, blah, blah from the multitudes of talking heads that are on, seemingly 24/7, drive me up the wall.

It’s 6:49 p.m.  Dinner is done, and dishes are in the dishwasher, and we’re digesting a lovely dinner of breaded, cast iron pan seared boneless pork loin chops, smothered in my homemade BBQ sauce, and finished in a vintage Pyrex baking dish in a 400F oven.  Green beans, from a can, but organic from JayC’s.  Macaroni and tomatoes, made by my husband, though I didn’t eat any, as I dislike them.

Our Schnauzer is lying on one of the floor registers, enjoying the heat while the furnace is on. Our Schnoodle is yodeling, (yes, she yodels), to go out or play or something.  She’s quite bossy.

At 7:43, I still have to fold towels and put the blankets back on the bed, hang up my shirts to dry, get my jeans in the dryer and the last load in the washer, then the dryer.  Then there’s the book I just started reading, “Portage- A Family, a Canoe, and the Search For The Good Life by Sue Leaf”.  My small crochet tote rests on the coffee table, reminding me of a project needing completion, and there are two small stacks of library books on various topics I’ve yet to peruse.  Never enough hours in the day.

It’s now 8:17 p.m. Late evening, I suppose. I love our evenings, so snug and cozy.  Content.  The floor lamp at the far end of the couch lends a warm, soft glow to the front room, casting shadows on the several blankets on the couch, part bunched into a “nest” by one of the Baby Girls, part trailing onto the floor by the other one.  It’s quite peaceful and inviting.  If only that darn tv wasn’t on.  Still, it could be worse.  Time to snuggle in on the couch for a few minutes before bedtime.




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Rainy Day In December

Singin’ in the Rain

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Oddly enough, while looking at daily prompts, I came across this topic, and as it happens, it’s a rainy, gloomy, foggy day.  Now, I love days like this almost as much as sunny days, though, I get it that many people hate days like this.  Still, despite my enjoyment of rainy days, the weather does end up affecting me negatively by the end of Winter.  Yes, that good old Seasonal Affective Disorder, or S.A.D., but that’s another topic all together.

At present, it’s 12:30 in the afternoon, and I’ve not gotten much accomplished.  The house is quiet, disturbed only by the hum of the refrigerator, the measured ticking of a clock in my office down the hall, and the periodic sound of rain on the roof.  I have the house to myself, being that my husband is working today, and the Baby Girls are sound asleep on the couch.  The house is filled with the smell of balsam fir candle burning on the Maplewood lamp table, and the miniature lights on our little Christmas tree glow cozily.  There’s a damp chill to the air that only gray, rainy Winter days can bring.

Most days like this, I like to crochet or read, sometimes just nap.  Sometimes, I like to just sit and listen to the silence, perhaps meditating, perhaps lost deep in thought, perhaps just zoning out.  I rarely turn the TV on, though occasionally, I will put on either Pandora on or one of the music channels on the satellite dish.  Housework or other chores call for more upbeat music, but rainy days…ambient spa or new age.  Nice, mellow background music that encourages thoughts to just flow, eases stress and requires little to no thinking.  Just there, soothing and peaceful.

This is not one of those days.  I have a few presents to wrap for a Framily get together this evening, and I just don’t feel motivated to do it.  This is a totally non motivated to get a damn thing done day.  Especially now that it’s pouring.  Perhaps it’s time to just sit, listen to the rain and Be.


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